After the hiatus...

Ohhh, I didn't see this coming. See what? Posting here again after 1½ years of not posting here at my place. Yes it's been a long while. See the last post here? Oct. 23, 2010 when I was still unemployed and still struggling to find one. And now that I've found one, I rarely had time for almost anything -- Yes even for myself. After a 3-month stay on my 3rd job, I resigned and returned to my 2nd job -- but as a regular staff and not as an agency personnel anymore.

It's been a year since I start working there and it's really satisfying but in exchange for that, I won't have time for myself -- I worked for more than 8 hours and sometimes, exerting effort to work and rendering overtime for 5-6 hours and what do I get? Money -- yes. I'm pretty much earning well right now but no time for social activities -- well even life outside the box is even not attainable.

Whenever I look myself in the mirror after taking a bath, it felt like I got a bit old compared to who I am in the last few years. It felt like I needed a break -- but sadly, I can't. It's not that I'm not happy with it -- just too tired and I already lack the time to spend with my friends, family etc. Due to work exigencies, I may not have all the freedom that I could get. Yes, I could file for a leave but not for too long -- no mandatory leave and I really long to have some relaxation and all.

Rotation of work as well is a bit difficult -- sometimes, I'm in the day shift and after some months, I will rotate to the night shift. A bit hard to adjust but that's how it is. At present, I got back to the night shift duty.

I may not be back for good but I'll try to post more on the following days. I don't know but I really want to blog again -- all the happenings and even do J-pop reviews again in the future but we'll see. For now, I'll end it here.

-----

❤: exhausted

♫: Glanz -沈黙の雪- by Maon Kurosaki (黒崎真音)

What does it really takes to have a job?

And here we go again with those irrelevant real life (RL) stuffs. But what can I say? It's really ticking me off and it's getting out the worst on me. I felt like the corporate world is too cruel for me because I tried my best to find a work but it seems like it wasn't really that enough [I don't know if I'm the one lacking or the companies are just too damn choosy when it comes to candidates].

I think I've had enough already with their excuses of "calling you after a week or so" but received none. Maybe they should try a frank approach on me so I will know if I pass or not. Oh come on, I'm not a psycho as to make a riot or any scenes just because I failed or was not the chosen candidate — at least, I won't expect anything from them, right?

I've been to direct hiring companies and I even seek help from my agency [who bridged me to Metrobank] to look for another job but it looks like it'll take me a while to have another job. *screw that* I have to earn and I need to have money before Christmas [and most especially, my birthday! o_o] And I'm surely not that enjoying the everyday ambiance here at home since my routines are always the same. I want something different. And for the last time, let me rant....

"OTL

-----

❤: sulky

♫: "Sore ga, Ai Deshou" - Mikuni Shimokawa

Moving on with life...

Araa~ it has been a good two months since I've posted something on my blog?! And I didn't keep my word on being active. =_=' Shame on me.

Well half of it is, you know, indolent since I didn't know what to write on mah blog. And even if I wanted to, I don't want to spam that much on my beloved blog. *hugs*

So what happened to me after "that two months" — many things happened but I'm just going to summarize it. That last post was a false alarm. XD My real "substitute" arrived 10 days after the blog post was made. And last July 25, 2010, my contract has officially ended with Metrobank. I felt lonely and heavy-hearted leaving my friends there but what can I do if I have to leave? If only the time could go back to those happy moments with my closest friends there. We had lots and lots of pizza, laughter and memorable moments before I left.

I visited there twice (one for my clearance signing and the other is to charge on my friend's debt on me) and I'm glad to see they're doing alright though they were busy with a lot of encoding to do. And on my second visit, I was truly happy that all of the encoders in our division went out with me for dinner [and to tell you, there should be at least one or two encoders left on our division in case of some more data encoding arrived].

And yesterday, I received an SMS from Metrobank for an interview on Monday! Yoshaaa, for direct hire! :D♥ I surely hope I could pass the interviews and exam so that I could see my friends there again [though not for long since one of them will have their contract end on the next two months]. Oh well, it's a worth of try since many of the former contractual employees from Metrobank told me that it's really hard to pass the interview.

I don't really care if it's a low-rank job as long as I have a stable and decent job, right? And that's what really matters, at least for now.

----- 

mood: fine

rhythm: looping Sound Horizon's "Elysion ~Rakuen Gensou Kumikyoku~" album [StarDust]

Time sure flies fast...

Tomorrow, my "substitute" is going to start working tomorrow.

It's been a good 4½ months since I worked at Metrobank and time sure flies, at first I didn't know anything there but then after a while, I get to learn those stuff and meet new friends. It's just a bit fast — I still didn't want to leave there since I already enjoyed the work. But what can I do? That 6-month-contract would be almost out. Though I keep telling my friends to still keep in touch with each other, there will come a time that they won't be messaging you in any way, I will surely miss them.

And as I come to my early stage of departure to my work, I'm admittedly sad because I was already happy but I will have to part ways with them.

Just sharing and spamming nonsense on my blog. And it's been a while since I posted something RL right? But at least, I won't be that busy since there is someone who'll do my job in the next few days.

-----

So damn tired!! =_=

Gaahh! I felt like I'm one of the exhausted people in the world. 14 hours of work is just no joke especially if the workplace is not near on your home. x___x Just got home at 1:30am and I was unlucky that I slept in the bus and didn't felt that I was already way passed my village so I have to take another jeepney ride. So much for saving money. T-T

Though I just received my highest salary as of now, I'm just not that happy with how all work is to be done. It's a bit long of a detail (and I'm too tired to type) but for now, I just want to rant all of this. But I'm still alive — barely. And I need some sleep so I'm going to bed right now since I still have work later 10:00am.

Hopefully, I could go home earlier later since there will be a meeting tomorrow which starts pretty early.

-----

感情: tired, stressed, exhausted
音楽: "Hard Habit to Break" - Chicago

Hiatus or not?

Err, I don't know? Really, although I'm still just a trainee/newbie (or whatever you call it), it felt like I was already working a long time ago. And I got too busy that I only get an hour (or even lesser) to check my mail, facebook, multiply etc.

My work schedule is 8:00am-6:30pm and it's not always followed. Sometimes, I leave the workplace at 7pm then I got home by 8pm. After that, eat dinner and do my assignments as an HR Coordinator -- then sleep because of exhaustion. And when I arrive home, there's already one using this PC so don't really have that time. After my assignments, which I will probably finish on or before 12mn, I'll sleep.

Alarm my cellphone at 4:00am. Well ever since I started as a trainee, I didn't get any decent sleep so as of now, I still feel sleepy. *yawn*

So I don't really know if I'll be in hiatus in the next few days. Who knows? The weekend is approaching. And that would be my only time to go online.

-----

感情: hungry, preparing for work.ö
音楽: "Bizarrerie Cage" - MELL

Happy 3rd anniversary, RT!!!

Although this may be a bit a late (for two days in precise) but my blog, Radiant Tomorrow is celebrating third year anniversary. x3

Damn, I didn't expect that my blogging life was already this long. XD Oh yes, and beginning this territory was one of the most unforgettable experience since it has all of my rants and raves for the past three years. ;D And when I opened this blog, it was that time when it was raining all hard here in the country. XD (remember typhoon Milenyo?) And after two weeks, the sun finally smiled at me.

And the story when all this RL-blogging became a music-oriented one, I didn't know how it all started and all I know I was already into J-music -- particularly I've Sound. XD And after some time, it would go into hiatus' and I go back of course. Then finding new ideas and inspirations -- it was all part of this blog.



And on it's 3rd anniversary, I also celebrate that I'm having a work now! :D And actually that's the reason why I am delayed on posting this one. But it's all for the better. XD I'm just going to complete my requirements and I'm all for it.

I hope this blog would still be alive for many years -- but oh well, that's up to me. But I could say, it will really last since my passion for blogging has not died out. *huggles my blog*

-----

感情: still a bit tired
音楽: "Hane" - KOTOKO

Eating your way out

I seldomly post something RL so I'm going to use the opportunity. :P

Today was a very "healthy" day for me. I don't know -- after I ate my early lunch, I went somewhere for a job interview this morning. It did fine -- nothing oh-so-nosebleeding but the agency says they'll just call me or what if ever I got accepted. And after a while, I went to the Shopwise to meet my sister and mother who are buying groceries. I know it was a bit long since I last ate since we finished up there @ 4:30PM. Gawd, it was a good 4 hrs of struggle for hunger and I'm the kind of person who doesn't really want to be VERY hungry. XD

After that, we ate at Figaro's and I ordered a coffee caramel frost and a spaghetti arabbiata while my sister and mother just ordered sandwiches (and of course, their drinks as well. But compared to what I ate, mine is a bit heavier. :P) When I finished up, I ate their left-overs which comprises of lettuce, bell peppers and jalapeños (Hahaha I eat to the last drop. ;D). Plus, my sister ordered a small (and moderately sweet) chocolate cake and it was probably one of the best that I have tasted so far. :DD

After eating, we went home and I skipped dinner (because I was still bloated that time) but if you think that's the end -- NOT YET. There's the pizza bread that my other sister gave to me when she arrived from work (courtesy of Bread Talk. XD) It was kinda huge but I was still able to eat it. XD

After almost an hour, my father arrived and took home some kinduva Beef teriyaki from a Korean restaurant that I don't know actually. XD And even asked me to eat them w/ rice! O.O (was that the midnight snack or the late dinner?!) *rolls on the floor*

And here I am, getting hungry again, so I'm eating a banana and my daily choco drink. :D Woohoo~ I hope everyday's like this. ;p

-----
感情: hungry (yes~ I'm starving once again!)
音楽: "Dearest" - Asriel

Officially in love with Gothic Rock

Who says I don't like rock? :D Well there are lots of types of rock to begin with, and the usual rock type that I usually listen to are: the progressive and alternative rock only and then mostly electronica --- techno, trance, eurobeat etc. Punk rock is a bit "it-depends" type for me while heavy metal is a bit screechy in the ears.

I don't know why I find myself getting addicted w/ Gothic Rock -- even Dark Rock/Darkwave. That's why if you notice in my last.fm widget (in my navi) usually scrobbles group like ALI PROJECT, Yousei Teikoku (妖精帝國) and recently some few Asriel. XD They have this weird sensation that I can't stop listening to it -- I'm not that of a big fan of the electric guitar but I kinda appreciate them right now. ;)

Plus it's like denpa because most Gothic rock are in high tempo that it keeps you going like adrenalin rush. Plus I love the Gregorian and mystical chant effects on each songs so it's a plus factor! So don't ask why I love Kalafina to bits. ;p

And to give my dear readers some demo, here's one of Yousei Teikoku's best song I've ever heard which is the Gothic Lolita Propaganda which came from their album with the same title. It's kinda long though --- but when you hear it, it's worth the hear. ;) It's 6:34 long and I'd say this is a very much instrumental-based Gothic rock.



If you want the song, click here.

It's a combination of rock plus some synths and Gregorian chants which adds up to the gothic flavor. This is one of my fave YT song of all time. ;)

Then I also remembered hearing Kokou no Sousei (from the same album which could also be found on their Senketsu no Chikai single) and I was astounded to hear that one. It was a hard rock one but then on 4:00, a short trance sound exhibited then goes back to its natural rock sound. And it didn't sound bland after all! Hands down to the composer/arranger of Yousei Teikoku, Tachibana Takaha. And also to the vocalist/lyricist Yui although at times, it's like she's singing in denpa instead of Goth Rock because of her eensy-winsy voice.

I admit I still like ALI PROJECT more than Yousei Teikoku but my love for both are increasing rapidly, I have to admit. x,X

And because of my love for Gothic and Dark Rock, I'll might as well post a top 10 best&worst single/album cover for both next time. ;D

-----

感情: enjoying gothic rock~
音楽: "Gothic Lolita Doctrine" - Yousei Teikoku

Getting over this week

First of all, I would like to congratulate Pi-Pi-Pi for winning the I've Sound Karaoke Contest although I'm aware that she won't be able to read this one.

Okay, so after a week full of anticipated release (refer to the singles I've said in one of my earlier posts), this week will have another big downloads for me. Yeah, although it may not be big for some, but for me, it's already this big because of my HDD problem.

And before I post my anticipated singles/albums this week, I'll display the result of the first-week sales of the last week's anticipated singles/albums:

singles:
ALI PROJECT (Senritsu no Kodomotachi, Phantom ~Requiem for the Phantom~ OP2) = #23 (4,845 copies sold)
savage genius (Watashi wo Mitsukete., Pandora Hearts ED2) = #85 (1,016 copies sold)

albums:
m.o.v.e (anim.o.v.e) = #19 (7,702 copies sold)
RYTHEM (Best Story) = #22 (6,939 copies sold)
Suara (Kizuna) = #45 (2,359 copies sold)

---------------

And the Oricon dailies for this week:

singles:
KOTOKO (daily-daily Dream, Hayate no Gotoku!! Second Season OP2) = 13→13
KOKIA (Transparent, Phantom ~Requiem for the Phantom~ ED2) = below top 50 (for two nights)
Sachi Tainaka (Unmeibito) = below top 50 (for two nights)

albums:
ALI PROJECT (Poison) = 14↑10
Yousei Teikoku (Gothic Lolita Doctrine) = 31↓39

---------------

For now, I'm listening to ALI PROJECT's Poison album and will make a review after a proper listen to all of the songs. But I'll be giving a hint that there's a high probability that I will give this album a high five rate because of the songs. I'm liking all of them and the album is much greater than their previous album Kinsho since most of the songs here in their new album are quite upbeat and experimental -- and they fitted.

-----

感情: "poisoned" by Poison. :P
音楽: "処女懐胎、あるいは白骨塔より少女達は飛翔する" by ALI PROJECT

A few remarks on my hair

感情: a bit hesitant to post this
音楽: "over..." - K





Now that I think about it, it's been awhile since I last posted a pic of mine in this blog. XD I was actually lurking around facebook when I saw a familiar photo album that I know I actually attended. Yes, its the ADG (one of anime clans I joined) Christmas Party which was held last December 22, 2008 on one of my clanmate's house. It kinda reminds me of my awkwardly-looking "long" hair which I don't want to go back to~





Well blow me down. It's also actually my hair style way back high school! o_o Looking at it makes me a bit embarrassed... *shrugs then hides in the closet* And I was supposed to go to the nearest hair cutter to have my hair cut 2 days earlier (at the photo's time) which is my birthday and because of very much excitement, nemmet I forgot to do so. D;

But after 2 weeks, when school days has been resumed, I actually got my hair cut in semi-bald. XD It doesn't really suit me but I undergo this haircut every once a year because when it grows, it looks good on me. XD Plus having a very short hair is cool on my head. XD



And after 2 months....



I really liked my hair that time (pertaining to the photo above this) although to tell you the truth, I had a very heavy day that time that I boycotted my mock defense. :P And went to the outskirts of Manila to see my friends! XD

Anyway, if you are to ask me in which image that I like, I'd probably say the image "now" rather than in the past (not just in physical outlook but also emotional, spiritual etc.) because I'm a bit of a judging-a-book-by-its-cover kind of a character and a very introvert person that I really don't want to socialize with other people (it's a long story why I was like that in HS but I tell you, it has a reason).

And I can't actually say that I changed a lot right now than in the past, I'm still me but yeah, you could say that I'm more friendly, open-minded, sociable and patient kind of a person. XD



And speaking of hair, my hair length is getting kinda long again but I don't know when will I get my next haircut. And I'm still deciding if I'll have it semi-bald again since it'll be 4 months again before my *ehem*. And I don't want to look like an emo-looking person just because of having a hair like in the previous pics (BUT I SWEAR MY STYLE'S NOT EMO! However, it's kinda "almost" especially if my bangs were placed in one location) when we have a group pic again.

Another reason that I see to have my hair semi-bald it's because it's kinda hot here just like summer but we're already in the rainy season here in the Philippines though. x_x But most likely, I'll just have it trimmed so that the once-a-year hair resolution is being followed. XD

And there goes the I've Sound Karaoke Contest

感情: excited and nervous at the same time!
音楽: "Tori no Uta" - Lia

I’ve Sound Blog First Annual Karaoke Competition

And so the contest already begins. And my song of choice was already revealed. :D I'm actually a bit regretful why my voice can only song a midtempo ballad or some sorts. I could've tried more trancey songs just like Re-sublimity, or even rockier songs just like Hishoku no Sora. But oh well, not all are "gifted" of such talented voice so I can't do anything to do change it but I have to admit, I enjoyed singing SHIFT -Sedai no Mukou- that's why I chose that as my piece for the contest.

Although not as upbeat as like the other participants are, I really believe that I just did the right stuff because I think of it in a sort of "balanced context". I mean, not all singles/albums are upbeat, rockin' or so. Some or most of it must contain a downbeat song to have that "balance".

Hmm don't think of this post as some sorts of campaigning because for those who are interesting in voting for the said contest, I'd like to emphasize that I just wanted you to vote for me if you think I deserve some of your vote. But if you think I don't, then it's alright. :D Vote for the rightful person who really did their best for the karaoke contest. I was thinking of voting for Naddie because I'm really liking her voice for the rendition of DROWNING. ;D

I don't usually vote myself when it comes to "tough" competitions like this. Even in my high school days when I ran as a candidate for Treasurer in the Student Body Council, I didn't vote for myself so don't ask why. XD

Upon vocalizing...

感情: slight headache
音楽: "Jewel of Kiss" - Hitomi Shimatani

...I got the chance to do a rendition of one of my fave Kalafina songs. xD It's a good thing it's a piano ballad that's why when I "cleaned" it using Audacity, the quality of the song was not very much affected. I practiced since I'll be participating to the I’ve Sound Blog First Annual Karaoke Competition.

Powered by Podbean.com

It's entitled "Gloria", the coupling song of their 4th single Lacrimosa. I know my singing voice is compared to a zombie so I'll be saying that listen at your own risk. xD But definitely, a product of hard work although my vocals need more practice. And as for my official entry for the said competition, you'll learn soon enough but Aibu already know what I'm singing. xD Although I'm not really sure if everyone's gonna like it because Aibu himself told me that it's not his personal favorite though. Oh well, this is just for fun and I cannot force myself to sing something I can't. xD *bricked*

But as a hint, I'm not singing any rock music. Because my voice is limited to that of a midtempo to slow ballad. xD Sorry if my vocals aren't very interesting but yeah, that's how it's supposed to be. -_-a

I'M FIT TO WORK! FTW! xD

感情: happy
音楽: "Sunao ni Narenai" - Mai Hoshimura

I may haven't opened this topic up in this blog but I'm very happy to know that I'm fit to work. So why am I bringing this up? Well nothing at all but despite having a dextroscoliosis, according to my X-ray result, the doctor said I'm fit to work!! xDD Yes I have a scoliosis but it won't stop me from looking for work. So where did all this shenanigan came from?

It started it out while I was applying work for SM as a Sales Utility Clerk -- and so I passed all the interviews and have my physical examinations including the X-ray. When I got the X-ray result, the doctor (in the SM clinic) told me that my scoliosis was not just a slight thoracic dextroscoliosis. She said it would be best that I should consult an orthopedic to check if it's already severe or whatever. And so I did the instructions and I went to an orthopedic -- and did another X-ray.

Awhile ago, I went back for the result of the second X-ray and he said, I'm fit for work! No problem and restrictions  at all! Although he said, even if it may not worsen, it won't be aligned straight (for the rest of my life). *bricked* Oh well, at least, it's over now.

I don't even know why the heck I got this dextroscoliosis since the 2nd doctor told me I didn't get that from carrying heavy bags on my childhood -- what's scary is that it's hereditary. o_O I actually asked my mother if they have some sort of disorder like that in their family and guess what? None! And what came as a surprise is that my grandma (on my father's side) has the same problem. -_-a

Oh well, as if I can do anything about it right now. I'm already on my 20's so my bones won't move even if I got my back braced. But at least, it's a relief for me. I thought I wouldn't be able to work because of this problem. =_='

Remembering good ol' Ali Project days

感情: nostalgic
音楽: "Seishoujo Ryouiki" - ALI PROJECT






Listening to my old ALI PROJECT mp3s brings back old memories especially when they were still in the Shiro Ari (White Alice) phase. Those poppish songs like Wish, Peony Pink and Labyrinth were reminiscent of their old works which doesn't really reminiscent them NOW. Especially now that they have changed into the Kuro Ari (Black Alice) phase.

But believe it or not, I like them as they are now. Although their songs tend to have "no point" or "nodirection" at all but Arika's supreme voice is what atrracted me to the group. And my two fave ALI PROJECT songs like Kinjirareta Asobi and Seishoujo Ryouiki are really my dosage of great neo-classical songs of everyday. Especially the latter, it never fails to make me smile because it is considered as one of the "merriest" songs that the group performed -- at least for me. Well I mean, some of their songs are also happy but with the despair and dark feeling within them but Seishoujo Ryouiki is not among these songs (although the translations of the songs are also a factor) but when it comes to the sound or tune, you won't really feel the "darkness" it possesses.

And it was actually one of my first influences to ALI PROJECT's neoclassical/darkwave songs because my initial attachment to them was Peony Pink because I was watching Clamp School Detectives several years ago. I mean, I'm still not that attached at time but I can remember the names of the singers/groups in a certain extent so when Avenger came out of Animax and noticed the same name, I was like "WAHH!" because it was so far from the ALI PROJECT that I knew from Clamp School. And that time, I didn't know the shift from Shiro to Kuro Ari. xD But it was really all good for me. Gesshoku Grand Guignol (Lunar Eclipse Grand Guignol) was my first ALI PROJECT neoclassical song that I've heard then got curious with Kopperia no Hitsugi (Coppelia's Coffin) which is the opening theme for the anime Noir. It was, at some point, creepy and spine tingling but it still very powerful to me even at this moment.



And now I present to you, a live version of Seishoujo Ryouiki (Domain of the Holy Girl) together with famous anime seiyuu/singer Nana Mizuki. :D Seishoujo Ryouiki is the opening theme for the anime series Rozen Maiden Traumend which is the sequel to Rozen Maiden in which ALI PROJECT also did the opening theme (entitled Kinjirareta Asobi [Forbidden Game]). I tell you, one of the most amusing combi is Arika Takarano and Nana Mizuki. Actually one of my most fave videos of all time because as I said, this is one of ALI PROJECT's merriest songs and one of the songs that you should listen especially if you want to try out the group. :D

I'm telling this because I remember reading one of my friends' statement that she heard ALI PROJECT by Code Geass because they did the ending theme but when she heard the long version, it was "too much" for her and I didn't really get the point of that "too much" --- too much what? o,O Oh well. I'll just indulge more into them since they're one awesome group. *lurves gothic lolita fashion*

For the love of Mami. XD

感情: onakahetta~
音楽: "β－Nendo no Hoshi" - KOTOKO

Ahh I just love the song. :D It hasn't played in my playlist for a long time and I missed hearing this song of hers. Lurrvve it to pieces! XD

Okay enough babbling. I just wanted to share my love and dedication for my fave I've Sound singer Mami Kawada because inspiration struck me (awww! *then sparkling eyes*) to edit her English wiki article. 8D If you notice her history is NAO longer plus it has been divided into 3: Which is the Debut, SEED era, SAVIA era, and lastly 2008 and beyond. Well I just expounded on her chronologies because I was not very much in the mood to make a longer history last time (that explains why there's only one part in her history part, nee? *BRICKED*).

Plus, I made a separate article for Mami's discography!!!! YAY!!! 8DD But just right after I made the article (not more than 3 minutes), some bad mod labeled it as "unreferenced"! I want to spank that guy really if I were to meet him (or her?) in person! The article was just there for less than 3 minutes then you're going to negate my effort by labeling it as "unreferenced"?! Then why didn't you tagged it when it had no separate article?!? Are you giving me a damn shit out of my effort! Of course I'm going to add references and all but you've just gave me a reason to abandon my work and left it "unreferenced" when you tagged it!!! DD; I RLY DAMN HATE YOUU!!! DX

*wipes sweat* Now that I have released my anger, I could eat my midnight snack now. Tata~ Sorry for ranting this much , can't really help it. x__X

A very strange dream

感情: a big lol
音楽: "緋色の空" - Mami Kawada





Wow it's been a long time since I posted here, no? Well that because I got busy with my life -- thesis, that is. Tomorrow will be the submission and this coming Monday would be one of the biggest day -- thesis defense. xD

Oh well, I'm not going to talk about that but rather just going to keep this short because as you know, my time's kinda running out but definitely, I'm going to post this one!!!

I had this strange dream, because I had a deep sleep I have been sleeping for 12 hours because I wasn't able to sleep last last night. (Literally NO SLEEP because of my thesis) After some series of blackness comes an opening theme for Shakugan no Shana!! And it was written Shakugan no Shana III!!! O.o'

And guess what? Mami Kawada still does the opening theme!! As far as I can remember, the title of the song on my dream was "Honou no Tobira" (炎の扉) and guess what? TomoyukixTakeshi again!!! XDXD So much for a dream but it doesn't really sound I've at all. It was a medium rock (somewhere between Hishoku no Sora and JOINT) with some traditional Japanese instruments (that's why I thought it was non-I've). And I was kinda shocked because in my dream, I already memorized the lyrics! But after I woke up, it's like getting an amnesia! XD OH WELL THIS IS JUST MY IMAGINATION! AFTER ALL!!! XDXD NYAAHAHAHA~! *MAJORLY BRICKED*

How I wish this was kinda true. 8D

The Man w/o its Real Soul

感情: feeling a bit numb
音楽: "KARMA" - KOKIA

I know I shouldn't be posting right now because I'm rushing to do my thesis but what can I do when I can't think of something to write or type? D: And I have to tell ya, today was one of the most emptiest day I've ever had in my entire life. It felt rather useless that I have to go out of the house to "go to school" when I went to the computer shop just to kill time. Why? Because I haven't done in the last 4 5 days -- probably the pessimistic side of me is taking over once again. =.=' Uninspiration and dullness is what's engulfing around me right now.

I felt like an idiot because I have to make up excuses in such situations... While I was walking awhile ago to go to the computer shop, I was like a lifeless spiritual creature who is just walking endlessly in the path of no return it's as if I don't have any destination. If not for the computer shop, I'd end up walking straight somewhere God knows where waiting  to be eaten up by my darkened conscience until my existence will be all void.

Or probably I'm just tired of what's going on with my life? But if I stop, I will literally "stop" and jail myself in one room like a mentally-retarded hermit. And I already swore to my parents that I will finish this thesis defense w/in this summer.

Okay, this may sound exaggerating and all but it's really what I'm feeling right now. It felt like a tragedy was just bestowed upon me in which the circulation of life has stopped for me. In short, this body is indeed me but who's inside this malnourished and stubborn body is not the real me. It must be the other side of "me" who dejects/withdraws all positive things inside.

I don't know if I'll be able to last mt own life if I think this way and I can't share this "confidential" issue to anyone that's why I'm expressing it here because my cyber life is the only freedom left for me as of now.

And I apologize for posting nonsense and all dramatic emoness or whatever you call it. But really what can I say, I wanted to "rest" from this strenuous life I had. I can't even feel my worth and I don't even know the roots/cause of this depression which make things a bit difficult for me. It just came to me and I'm stuck into this dark world where I don't even want to stay. D:<

New layout and more sentiments

感情: a little bored
音楽: "La Fiesta" - Hitomi Shimatani




Yes, despite the boring day, I'm trying to amuse myself and is already in front of the PC for 8 friggin' hours. D: And don't be surprised if I'm even a little hungry~~ XD

And so I made myself a new blog layout with its usual simplicity -- well that's because I don't want too decorative and too much "brushy" pics so I kept it simple and clean. *sings Utada's Simple and Clean then gets bricked*

And now I'm presenting the fifth scenario which is My Fairytale and it features Kalafina, one of my favorite all-girl group singers! I made use of their picture in their single fairytale which is the 6th ending theme for the OVA Kara no Kyoukai. I did not used the Seventh Heaven album cover because I already used that in their fanlisting. XP

Speaking of fanlisting, I still haven't upped it because I can't log into my FTP. I wonder if the server move is already finished or whatsoever. And that's actually the reason why I haven't upped the Kalafina fanlisting. And I've been e-mailing Mizuiro-chan but she's not replying -- probably busy with school work.

And I still haven't finished the layout for Jyukai fanlisting and summer classes will already start next week. I should finish it quick so that I can upload it w/ no worries even if I'm doing my thesis this summer. And admittedly, that's the reason why I made a new blog layout because I know I won't be having time to create one when summer classes is going on because I have to concentrate on my thesis so that I could finish up tertiary education this May. I want to benkyo (Japanese term for "work") already. xP

OoOoh~ my eyes are hurting and my stomach's churning. x0 So till then, I'll be posting after a few days. xD

P.S.: Eiko Shimamiya's single Chikai did not leaked. D: I want the long version already! *grumbles*

Oh give me a break!

感情: a bit tired & sleepy
音楽: "end of refrain ~Chiisana Hajimari~" - Kaori Utatsuki



Gyaah! It's already 4:30am in my watch and my Kara no Tsubomi PV hasn't finished its download. Damn you, jsharer! -__-; Daikirai!!

In a rather late news, the I've Sound 10th Anniversary「Departed to the future」 Special CD BOX ended up at #43 in the Oricon top 300 weekly charts this week selling only 3,838 copies. Like what hikaruhoshi said, it's not really that worth buying that's why it only sold a bit few than expected. Plus the expense you'll incur just by ordering it. It's a headache! =.=' How I wish I was that rich that I could afford few copies so that I could give some to my friends. TT___TT

And if you think this CD Box was epic fail, you could've guess that IKU's Yuauea flopped at #91 this week selling only 1,929 copies. But the album explains why it only got that position. It's too poppish and cheesy. Only a number of songs are classified as good and unique.

As they also flop, my life is also a flop with this feeling of envious because my friends have already graduated ahead of me while I entered tertiary life earlier than them. -__- It's a total degradation because of my pathetic situation at school. If only they prioritized me... Ugh, I'm kinda sick of this life. If I would be asked, I really want to break free with school life for the meantime but then again, I only have one subject left and I should finish it this summer so that I could graduate as well -- but what's worse is I'm too tired. But I'm not saying I'm not going to take it this summer. I just wished that vacation was a bit longer because in just a short span of time, I'm still tired of school life.

Oh how I wish I could really finish this thesis within the summer. -___-;