Monday, June 25, 2007

When Are You Ready To Say Goodbye?

sentiment: reflecting
harmony: "See You ~Chiisana Eien~" by KOTOKO & MELL

I am being sentimental again... yare yare... Oh well, I think it can't be helped to feel this way sometimes specially if you're listening to a heart-warming and sentimental song. It's just kept bugging me and it would be better if I would take this out of my friggin' mind. So when will I be ready to say adieu, sayonara, ciao, or goodbye to my friends and loved ones? As you know, I'm still not ready for now and death is one of the events that I'm afraid to happen. Yes, even lil ol' me is afraid of death, but why am I afraid? Well it's because of one main reason, and that is because I haven't done all my deeds in this world. My duties and responsibilities, who will continue that if ever I will die after a day or two? Or will it turned out fine to pass it to someone? Was it a very good idea? So many questions that enters my mind that I, myself can't answer for now.

I'd say, for now, I am still afraid of the coming future because who knows when your life will be taken? I dunno, I'm not a fortune-teller or even if it was foretold by a fortune-teller, I won't take it seriously because it's just a guess, a wild hypothetical guess with the use of cards or astrology. We are the ones who are making our destiny so anytime we could change it. But of course, the big question mark is on how will you take the wheel of life. I am not God who can die and will rise after 3 days of death. I am just a mere human with no idea on when he will say goodbye to this world. You may say I'm totally clueless but that's how it is. I can't just guess the date or believe what the death clock says, right? Others may perceive me as superficial or utu-uto or even utak-biya. Well that's totally unlikely of me.

So what's the purpose with all of these fuzz and commotions? None really, I just want to have a reflection on what's on my head right now. Yeah I don't deny that I am afraid of my own death as of now but I know that there will come a time that I will be on my deathbed and will be fully prepared for my upcoming second life. But all I could say is, PLEASE NOT NOW... I am not begging to prolong my life, since I am a hyper, active and healthy man as of now but I just want to say about these death thingies, that I still don't want to... Because there's still my family and dearest friends that I will return to. I still want to have a gig and memorable moments with my dearest friends (you know who you are!!) and experience more things that I haven't been experienced. There's still a lot more to learn in this world. But you know, I will accept how my wheel of life will turn... If it will end someday (even if it's near), I will definitely prepare for it because I want to say goodbye properly to my friends and loved ones. Definitely, I will.

"I didn't understand those words you
said when you approached me then if
I could return once again, I'd want to
embrace you closely and touch your heart..."

Surely... The days that begin with goodbye
will come quietly wrapped in kindness.

You walk off without looking back.
But in the not-too-distant future,
I'm sure I will catch up to you.

excerpt from the english translation of "See You ~Chiisana Eien~" by KOTOKO & MELL (courtesy of animelyrics).


  1. kapatid> well.. we can't say when will our 'time' goes out in the world. That's why you should do the things you need to do "NOW" than "LATER". The hardest thing sometimes about that is you don't know what you need to do to someone or say sorry.. whatever,

    cuz your not fully aware of your actions and what others think of you..

    That can't be helped sometimes.. I want to confess I'm actually afraid too of "Eternal goodbyes" to someone..

    But that's the way it goes.. If that actually happens.. then let it go..

    Remember: "God always had plans.."

  2. waaah.. it's me again.. kapatid! That lyrics is really touching! I don't wanna hear you saying it.. someday.. waaaahhhhhh

  3. Oooh~ We both have contemplation entries for a change. /offtopic

    Anyway, that's the reason for the saying "Life life as if it's your last." Be happy and love your loved ones the best you can.

    Procrastination among people is inevitable, since it's a part of being human (fear of painful earthly emotions like rejection can be one of the factors that drive procrastination) ; so doing things now rather than later would always be hard at times.

    So, don't let a day pass without you being fully happy... It's a realization that hit me while I was halfway through your post. Every day is wonderful, we just have to see and live it using a brighter perspective.


  4. @kapatid>> yes, I am doing things "now" rather than "later" although it's really hard. was the song really touching? well you've gotta hear the song for you to be able to understand more haha! Well I'm not sure if you won't hear me saying those words someday. It may or may not happen. who knows?

    @imouto>>uh-huh, you know even though my life at school isn't that oh-so-great, I still live life like I want it. Even if it means to be alone but as long as I want it and I'm happy with it, dun ako rather than with friends nga but they keep on ignoring me. It's painful but rather than being sad, I chose to smile na lang and because not to hide my sad mask but to prove them that even though they're doing it to me, I'm still strong as ever. XD~

    thanks imouto & kapatid! *mwahugz*