harmony: "all alone" by Eiko Shimamiya
We all know that life is like a game -- you struggle and you experience pain so that we will learn. Life's not always happy -- life's not complete without agony, sorrow and defeat. You can be either lucky or unlucky for a day. There's no one day that you won't experience sadness. Very true indeed like what I experienced back at school. I don't know if I'll be happy or not because of my unluckiness, struggling, being in sorrow and defeat and even experience sadness in just one day.
I know I always look at the bright side of the trials I face everyday but it's always the case. Of course, my genki powers also drains and becomes moody like it's gullible owner. Lots of things happen in just one day and it was a mixture of unluckiness and happiness (due to continuous struggle to be happy) that I really don't know what to say.
Today, I've been very unlucky with money. I thought my friend told me that I have a P30 from her that I will claim when we see each other. But it turns out to be the opposite. I had a debt of P30 that I need to pay. That person told me a week ago that she have P30 from me and told me (again) after a few minutes that it was the opposite. But when I met her in our class awhile ago, she said that I have to pay the P30 debt. Inside my head, I wanna shout anu ba talaga!? Because I was a bit confused already with the sudden change of information. And in the end, I still payed P30. Not only that, before I arrived at school, the tricycle driver (in my first ride) even charged me of P14 for a special-ride tricycle when that f**kin' shit tricycle driver picked up 2 passengers enough to pay him P7 because it wasn't considered a special-ride anymore. We're already 3 in the tricycle. But I still ended up paying P14 since I was in a hurry for class.
I feel like I'm just being used at school even though I kind of know it. But lil ol' gullible me don't just raise my voice and be mad, or else I'll have my whole image f**cked up. And I ended up helping those people who keep on approaching me, and what do I get in return? Nothingness. *sigh*
And before the day ends, no one initiated to give me a ride from our school to outside the Alabang Hills Village since it was night already. In my case of course, I don't want to tell them that I want to hitch (so no hard feeling in the end). And of course, I ended up walking up to Alabang Town Center to buy me blank CDs. It was already 7:30 PM when I reached the place but I didn't hesitate to play arcade to relieve the stress that I am feeling after I bought the blank CDs.
Oh well, I just told myself that "Life's not always best" and shouting to myself "Fight-o... Oh!" just like Kumiko Yamaguchi (Yukie Nakama) of Gokusen live-action. As long as I can still hold on, I will continue to struggle... even if no one (at our school) notices/knows. I am not blaming the entire school boys & girls of San Beda Alabang from what happened because even if there are too much unluckiness today, there are still some few people who were very considerate and didn't closed their doors when I needed some help. And I'm really thankful to those people...
I need to be strong... I want to be strong... I need to know what it takes to be strong...